Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

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Joined Apr 9, 2017
So... I think I'm gonna look for a malpractice lawyer. Levi's 1 week stay at RMCH cost over 300k! The delivery and 2 day stay at Skyridge was over 20k, the ER visit 2 days later was 18k. Had to go to the ER in STL too a few weeks ago as well abd we haven't received the bill for that yet but I know it's coming.

All of this is the result of the extremely poor circumcision they did at Skyridge and charged us thousands for. Insurance only covers 80% so we still are looking at tens of thousands in medical bills. I'm glad he pulled through and is healthy now but they are crazy if they think I'm paying these ridiculous bills after both hospitals made very big possibly life threatening mistakes.
 
11,660
3,319
Joined Jul 18, 2012
Yea fam just lawyer up and have the lawyer call them. I bet those bills "just magically disappear one day"
 
20,204
7,487
Joined Apr 15, 2007
Hello my name is jking0821 i turn 33 next week...my wife just had a positive pregnancy test two days ago. I shall read this thread now :lol:
We are both extremely excited. Can't wait to tell people, hopefully everything goes well and it is viable. Any and all advice is appreciated
 
6,039
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Joined Apr 9, 2017
Congrats!

What's crazy os I could have added him to my insurance too but my manager told me that you couldn't use 2 different insurance plans on a single person... anyway I'm not too worried about it because all but 1 bill is under her name, so worst case scenario she can declare bankruptcy and I can still close on this house in a couple of months because I was planning on putting it all under my name anyway... but you still gotta get a lawyer to do that anyway so I'd rather give her the $ fir the malpractice lawyer.
 

darthska

Staff member
33,387
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Joined Apr 30, 2004
Hello my name is jking0821 i turn 33 next week...my wife just had a positive pregnancy test two days ago. I shall read this thread now :lol:
We are both extremely excited. Can't wait to tell people, hopefully everything goes well and it is viable. Any and all advice is appreciated
CONGRATS, MY GUY!!!

I don't know you so I'm just going to throw a few things out there that I've tried really hard to keep on my mind since I became a father 12 years ago. Which ever of these things apply to you, awesome. I'm just really happy for you and responding to you saying any advice is appreciated:

- Focus on giving your kid a childhood it doesn't have to recover from.
- YES, YOU CAN BE YOUR CHILD'S BEST FRIEND AND YOUR CHILD'S AUTHORITY.
- Parenting is NOT your wife's job. IT IS BOTH OF YOUR JOBS
- RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH. I have CONSTANTLY looked things up regarding parenting (like the most effective ways to deal w/ teenage attitude, since I have a 12-year-old now). Like I said, I don't know you, so I don't know how much you know about parenting, but I don't have to know you to know that you don't know everything about parenting. And this ish is HARD. Look things up, my guy.
- PLEASE reject any thoughts that your child is a burden, a pain, anything like that. They didn't ask to be here.
- My son's mom and I are split, so I don't have him every day, but every single day that I do have him, I tell him that I love him... even on the difficult days. Especially on the difficult days, actually.
 
20,204
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Joined Apr 15, 2007
Short background...was raised by a single mother dad was around but not really involved. That being said I am very very excited to be a father...probably too much. I feel like i will have to pull back so im not all up on my kid 24-7. I definitely have a lot of reading to do because I legit know nothing and don't really have experience to pull on for "how to be a father figure"
 

darthska

Staff member
33,387
11,942
Joined Apr 30, 2004
very excited to be a father...probably too much.
Impossible. WE NEED MORE OF THIS!!! <3
I feel like i will have to pull back so im not all up on my kid 24-7
Be all up on your kid 24/7.
I definitely have a lot of reading to do because I legit know nothing and don't really have experience to pull on for "how to be a father figure"
So we have this in common, you and I. My dad, and my mom, actually... well I won't go into that, but I definitely have no example of a good parent. I just know that the second I found out my son's mom was pregnant, there was this feeling inside me like "I can't screw this up, I won't screw this up. if I'm not excellent at anything, I will be excellent at this, and it will be through commitment, love, and learning." Fast forward 9 months later to when my son was actually born, and I sweatergawd, I held him as a new born in that hospital room and literally whispered "Buddy, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I promise I'll always give you my best and figure this out." And like I said, from that moment on, I have researched my tail off on childhood development, good foods and bad foods, how yelling effects a child's brain, the dangers of shaking a child, punishments vs consequences, logical consequences versus natural consequences, helping them make their own decisions vs stepping in and catching them before they fall... every step of the way the last 12 years, I've done everything I could, because just like you, I haven't had a father figure to turn to and ask 'Hey pops, what did you do when I was a hyper 8 year old?' And like even right now, I don't have a dad to turn to 'Hey, dad, how did you handle puberty with me? When I was 13 and didn't know what the hell was going on with my body, do you remember some of the talks we had?' That didn't happen, but I've already started those talks with my son, based on research and things I'm looking at online, things that other parents have done and shared how effective or ineffective the things they did and said were.

You've got this, my friend. Your passion will be your guide. 🤙
 

Blake P

Supporter
2,976
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Joined Jun 20, 2014
So... I think I'm gonna look for a malpractice lawyer. Levi's 1 week stay at RMCH cost over 300k! The delivery and 2 day stay at Skyridge was over 20k, the ER visit 2 days later was 18k. Had to go to the ER in STL too a few weeks ago as well abd we haven't received the bill for that yet but I know it's coming.

All of this is the result of the extremely poor circumcision they did at Skyridge and charged us thousands for. Insurance only covers 80% so we still are looking at tens of thousands in medical bills. I'm glad he pulled through and is healthy now but they are crazy if they think I'm paying these ridiculous bills after both hospitals made very big possibly life threatening mistakes.
First of all, I'm glad your son is doing well and healthy now. FYI- Most health insurance policies have a max out of pocket amount so that even if the total bills are $350k, you don't necessarily owe 20% ($70k) but a much lower amount like $5-10k MAX, but obviously it depends on the max out of pocket per person and/or family per year. Depending on your situation, you may have already reached that amount if you've had any other significant healthcare expenses this year. I handle the insurance policies for my company, so I have some knowledge about it if you want to PM me with any questions.
 
9,900
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Joined Oct 28, 2006
So a few weeks ago my 3 year old heard my wife say "son of a *****" about something. He repeated it and I couldn't help but crack up...now he says *****/*****y/butch etc...randomly... We tried telling him that's bad word etc....but now he says it to get a reaction. We've been ignoring him Everytime, but that isn't working. Anyone got any advice?
 

Blake P

Supporter
2,976
2,840
Joined Jun 20, 2014
So a few weeks ago my 3 year old heard my wife say "son of a *****" about something. He repeated it and I couldn't help but crack up...now he says *****/*****y/butch etc...randomly... We tried telling him that's bad word etc....but now he says it to get a reaction. We've been ignoring him Everytime, but that isn't working. Anyone got any advice?
My wife curses like a sailor and thankfully either my kids don't pick up on it or they don't understand. I've had them repeat things they shouldn't say and they seem to stop when told that it's not a nice word, but I understand how kids will say/do stuff to get a reaction. If he wants a reaction, give him a consequence. I dunno if you do timeouts, take away one of his toys, etc. Just make sure you set the expectation ahead of time so it's not a surprise and more of a cause/effect so he understand that his words and actions have consequences. Other than that, just try not to LOL when kids say funny **** they shouldn't!
 
9,900
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Joined Oct 28, 2006
My wife curses like a sailor and thankfully either my kids don't pick up on it or they don't understand. I've had them repeat things they shouldn't say and they seem to stop when told that it's not a nice word, but I understand how kids will say/do stuff to get a reaction. If he wants a reaction, give him a consequence. I dunno if you do timeouts, take away one of his toys, etc. Just make sure you set the expectation ahead of time so it's not a surprise and more of a cause/effect so he understand that his words and actions have consequences. Other than that, just try not to LOL when kids say funny **** they shouldn't!
Yeah we both curse a lot, but really haven't in front of him. He doesn't really know what they mean, but obviously I don't want him saying it. I've tried letting him know I'm taking toys away etc...but most of the time that gets him to say it again. Hopefully it passes with time....and yeah I try so hard not to start laughing when he says a bad he heard or something
 
4,657
4,439
Joined Feb 7, 2010
So... I think I'm gonna look for a malpractice lawyer. Levi's 1 week stay at RMCH cost over 300k! The delivery and 2 day stay at Skyridge was over 20k, the ER visit 2 days later was 18k. Had to go to the ER in STL too a few weeks ago as well abd we haven't received the bill for that yet but I know it's coming.

All of this is the result of the extremely poor circumcision they did at Skyridge and charged us thousands for. Insurance only covers 80% so we still are looking at tens of thousands in medical bills. I'm glad he pulled through and is healthy now but they are crazy if they think I'm paying these ridiculous bills after both hospitals made very big possibly life threatening mistakes.
🤷‍♂️ time to sell the collection bro











j/k

it's crazy how much they charge, and how often things are coded incorrectly resulting in charges that you shouldn't get

fortunately my wife works in the medical field and has a friend that does medical coding cause I'm clueless

you can also look into programs to get assistance that are income based to qualify...fortunately we were able to make nearly all medical bills do a disappearing act a couple of years ago which saved us thousands of dollars
 
6,157
2,821
Joined Dec 23, 2003
Short background...was raised by a single mother dad was around but not really involved. That being said I am very very excited to be a father...probably too much. I feel like i will have to pull back so im not all up on my kid 24-7. I definitely have a lot of reading to do because I legit know nothing and don't really have experience to pull on for "how to be a father figure"
Bro feel free to reach out if you have concerns or questions
Read books about being the best version of yourself and that will help you be a good dad
You don't need books about parenting
 
20,204
7,487
Joined Apr 15, 2007
My wife's first "post positive test" doctor's appointment today and i can't go with her. We called and asked but because of COVID only the patient is allowed in. I hope they let us facetime while they check for the heartbeat. I am trying to be understanding but at the same time im really bitter about missing it
 
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